Apollo's Rebellion

Charlie is a freshman. 

And while he's not the biggest geek in the school, he is by no means popular. Shy, introspective, intelligent beyond his years yet socially awkward, he is a wallflower, caught between trying to live his life and trying to run from it. 

Charlie is attempting to navigate his way through uncharted territory: the world of first dates and mix tapes, family dramas and new friends; the world of sex, drugs, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, when all one requires is that perfect song on that perfect drive to feel infinite. But he can't stay on the sideline forever. Standing on the fringes of life offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.                                                                - Taken from Goodreads.com

Some stories are better as a book and others are better portrayed in a movie. I could never imagine Inception as a book because that type of movie wouldn't translate well or I couldn't ever see The Book Thief being made into a movie because I know it will never live up to my expectations.  The Perks of being a Wallflower is the type of story better as a movie than a book.

I was speaking to a friend about it and she that the movie was better because it was "shown from a different perspective" which I didn't agree with (but I didn't tell her that). The movie is exactly the same as the book, albeit some parts were appropriately left out. The only reason the movie, in my opinion, was better was because it wasn't full of Charlie's disjointed narration. Although there was some voice over work, it wasn't as bad as reading the book, rather than a retelling of his day we were shown what was happening, it allowed me to see exactly what was meant.

There's something about style-writing that makes me cringe a little. I was given the first Adrian Mole book to read and I hated it. Partly because the story line didn't amuse, but mainly because it was written as a journal. Don't get me wrong, there are diary/letter-style books that I do like such as Spud and Diary of a Wimpy Kid because the story and humor put into it was good enough for it to be written like that. With this style of writing you have to be sure not to just state what happens or it starts to sound like an eight year old. The Perks of Being a Wallflower was fantastic enough for me to look past the style it was written in, but when I started it, I couldn't help but shout sometimes. It sounded as if this boy was a ten year old starting high school and I couldn't, for the life of me, understand how this boy was in AP English when the way he described Sam as "nice and pretty". Seriously? As the book went along I told myself to ignore it and just read on. By the end of it, I was able to safely read it without stopping every two seconds to question him out loud. I guess, in a way, this could be seen as Charlie growing up, but it still annoys me that whenever I read it, I don't see someone who is starting high school, but rather someone who is starting primary school. For this reason and this reason only, that's why I preferred the movie.

Looking past the irritating narration and Charlie's childish way of explaining things, it's a good book. I can see why it was a bestseller and how that had gotten people like Emma Watson, Logan Lerman and Paul Rudd to act in the movie adaption. The book deals so much with issues that faced teenagers in the '90's and that still plague the minds of teenagers today. Sexuality, drug use, suicide and trying to fit in are things that teenagers are faced with today. The things that the three main characters have gone through in their short lifetimes have been huge and life changing. Patrick with his sexuality and how others treat him because of it, Sam with the way people think that can take advantage of her because of her past and Charlie with his decreasing mental state. All of them are special in their own way and we can relate to one, if not all of them. Charlie was the character I saw myself most in. Not because of what happened to him, but mainly who he was. Charlie is a wallflower, an outsider looking in. Seeing and understanding what is happening around him, but never being directly involved in it. Charlie, like me, wants to become a writer when he's older, but I wish that I had friends and a teacher like him. They support and love him so much and never put him down. Charlie, unlike me, never wanted to fit in, he just wanted to have a friend, someone who he could talk to and he found two great people that love him and care for him.

I was wrong when I first started reading this book. I didn't know how much of an impact it would make on me, especially after watching the movie. I cried not because it was sad or I had to, but because I was happy for Charlie and because I knew that, no matter how much I tried to find them, I would never have friends that will love and support me the way Charlie's did. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a special book. Is it my favourite? No. Do I completely dislike it? Definitely not. It's the type of book that comes into your life, allows you to see things differently and goes away as quickly as it entered your life maybe even quicker.

She's been described as the impossible woman, the woman twice dead and the only mystery worth solving, but how much do we actually know about Clara Oswin Oswald? She's not your average girl with a cute face, a she's fast talking, no nonsense type of girl. There's a few things that I picked up about Clara from both Asylum of the Daleks and The Snowmen that could give us a few clues as to who she may just be.

Oswin, Victorian and Modern day Clara

When we first see her she's Oswin, a junior entertainment officer for the Star ship Alaska. She's playing the classic Habanera from Carmen on her crashed ship. The title of the song is L'amour est un oiseau rebelle which means Love is a Rebellious Bird. The song is all about how love is something that cannot be tamed and knows no law. Another line of the song is L'amour est enfant de Boheme which means Love is a gypsy's child. I only point this out because the first three times we see her, she is wearing red. This doesn't necessarily imply that she is a gypsy-gypsy, but, rather, a traveler someone who the Doctor will keep bumping into everywhere he goes. She exists in almost every time stream and keeps popping up wherever he is, sort of like a traveler. Also, if you think about it, the Doctor is also a sort of traveler because he doesn't have a home and lives in his transportation device.

A thing I also noticed with Clara is roses. In Asylum of the Daleks she is wearing a rose in her hair (also associated with gypsies) and in The Snowmen she works at the Rose and Crown pub. Some people's theory is that it has to do with Rose Tyler, but I think Moffat would be smarter than that. A red rose is a symbol of love and beauty, but it can also symbolise courage and respect. We know that Clara is very courageous and brave from our first two encounters with her. Firstly, in Asylum of the Daleks she helps the Doctor out and fights with all her strength to not kill him when she finds out she is a Dalek and in The Snowmen she deliberately goes against all orders given to her and follows the Doctor even though she doesn't know where exactly she is going. The rose is also the national flower of England, but I don't know how that helps. The fact that a rose keeps cropping up in the series could be a sort of sign to the viewers (like Bad Wolf) and that it has a bigger meaning in the grand scheme of things. That or Moffat just likes roses...

Rose in her hair, The Rose and Crown, the Doctor giving roses and roses on her headstone.

She has three names Clara Oswin Oswald. In Asylum of the Daleks she's just Oswin Oswald and in The Snowmen and The Bells of Saint John she's Clara Oswin Oswald. I don't know the meanings of the names give away anything, but Clara means bright, clear and famous, Oswin means God's friend and Oswald means God's power. Ignoring the famous part we could say that when the Doctor meets her in The Snowmen she's clear as in right in front of him and he can see her, whereas in Asylum of the Daleks he can't see her and he doesn't know what her human form looks like. which would explain why in Asylum of the Daleks the Clara is dropped from her name. The other two names Oswin and Oswald seem very religious, both referring to God. Oswin, meaning God's friend, could imply friend of the Doctor. In Series 6 we find that the Doctor goes have a bit of a god complex and we know that he is someone that people look up to in a way. He's saved galaxies and worlds and possibly to some he can been seen as a god. In a recent prequel or teaser the Doctor does refer to Clara as his friend. This doesn't imply that the Doctor is an actual god, just that he's seen as a god or godlike figure by others. Oswald means God's power which could also reiterate the fact that it's the Doctor's power. If we go with the theory that Clara is a trap for the Doctor we could also say that whoever is planting the trap (ie the Great Intelligence) also view themselves as a god or having the power of a god. Or it could be that I'm looking too much into this and it's just a bunch of random names that Moffat picked out, although with Moffat nothing is coincidence unless he forgets about it, then it's coincidence.

Lastly, her occupations. Clara is a barmaid and a governess, but I'm assuming that she was a temporary barmaid and is usually a full time governess judging by the way the family treated her when she came back. Oswin was a junior entertainment officer which, I'm assuming, is someone whose sole purpose on the ship is to entertain people which will account for her enjoyment of Carmen. The Clara in modern day London seems to be a nanny judging from this teaser from CultBox where a piece of dialogue is "You don't look like a nanny" I'm assuming this is said by the Doctor to Clara. So, in short, Oswin was a junior entertainment officer which is a sort of nanny (having make sure everyone is happy, no one's causing trouble), Victorian Clara was a governess which is basically a nanny and Modern day Clara is a nanny. This could mean that all the Claras are not only connected by their names and looks, but also by their personalities and occupations. They are, quite simply, the same person.

Some of the theories circulating are actually pretty good and I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were true. My theory when I first saw Oswin in Asylum of the Daleks was that, when the planet exploded, fragments of her got scattered into pieces through all of space and time, but because she had erased the memory of the Daleks she too forgot who the Doctor was. This would explain why she doesn't know him in the Christmas special.  But, after watching the Christmas special, I think that theory may not be all that plausible. I think Clara has something to do with the Great Intelligence which I know made its first appearance in the classic series. I have not watched that episode yet, but I do know that the Great Intelligence from the Classic Series and the on from the Christmas special are linked and it has been confirmed by the official site that they are the same. I only say this because the snow seemed to correlate with Clara and the family she worked with, like when she met the Doctor and the snow started to feed off her thoughts and the fact that the governess before her drowned in the pond, how convenient. Maybe she is a trap for the Doctor, the perfect companion to lead him somewhere, although this may be along the same lines of the Series 5 finale where the Alliance created the perfect scenario for him. It could explain why she is so clever, brave and overall perfect. What if the Great Intelligence is feeding off the Doctor's thoughts just like the snow fed off the peoples? This is the theory that almost everyone thinks of because it seems to be the most plausible.

The one thing that I believe will play a big role the Clara/Oswin story is memory. "Run you clever boy and remember" is the line uttered by both Oswin and Clara as they are dying, but what is it that the Doctor has to remember? He is meant to remember "the girl who can"? Or is he meant to remember the adventure they went through? Or is it something bigger? Maybe he's meant to remember someone or something from his past and not only her. Is this Steven Moffat trying to tells us to remember something that we may have forgotten? Or is she just begging him to remember her because he was that special? Moffat plays a lot with the memory thing like when Amy's memories were played with by the crack in her wall and she had to bring back the Doctor by remembering him. The main villain in Series 6 where the Silence who you forget once you looked away from them. Memory is a big thing for a writer because you have to know what happen to each character and when certain things happen in order for the story to flow and have continuity. For a show like Doctor Who memory is a big thing, there's nothing worse than having a fan of the show pick up something that the writer should have known. If the show doesn't have a lasting continuity then the viewer will begin to get bored and give up on it completely.

Summing everything up, roses, red, nannys and something to do with memory. I wonder how much this links together. Clara is as much mystery to us as she is to the Doctor and only time will tell if our theories are true or not. Whatever or whoever Clara is, one thing is for sure, it's the fiftieth year which means everything is going to be big. Bring on March 30th (or 31st in my case) because it's going to be a fantastic second part to Series 7.

For I am a dreamer
With dreams that
Span the entire Earth. 

Call me the dreamer
With impossible dreams,
But call me a failure
For I am that too.  

I have not
Lived a long life,
Nor have I
Lived a good one. 

Call me honest,
Call me kind,
I do not believe it
To be true. 

For I am a human,
With a human heart.
For I am a human,
With human emotions. 

I have made mistakes
And I have learnt,
But through it all
I was true.
True to myself
And true to my faith. 

Call me invisible
For that is the truth.
Call me forgettable
For I am forgotten. 

A quiet whisper in a
Never ending storm.
A small light
Blinking out in the dark. 

Call me a dreamer
With impossible dreams.
For I was the dreamer
With hope in my heart
And a fire in my soul.

Note from the author:
Sometimes the words just come to you at any given moment and you have to just write it down. I wrote this poem while studying for a chemistry test (which I think I failed) and I thought I would share it with the rest of the world. I'm not really the type to write poems because I either want to make it rhyme or it ends up being a paragraph. This is the first poem that I've felt happy about showing and it pretty much reflects the mood I'm in. Hope you liked it.